Issue #4, Part 2, Feb 1, 2000

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Seedling

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Nurturing our children in the freedom of Christ
#4, Feb, 01 2000
Sr. Editor & Publisher: Elissa Henry
Assistant Editor: Teri Brown
Contributing Editor: Patricia Moon

Part #2

7. Links on Courting
8. A Visit With a Courted Gal by Terra Minerd
9. Closing letter from the editor
10. Subscription Information
11. Reprint Information

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7. Links on Courting

Courtship Webring
A list of 35 links to different Courtship websites.

Christian Courtship
Offers resources, testimonies, a database for like minded folk, and personal counsel to help apply biblical principles to our lives.

The Courtship Web Page
Has a FAQ's section, articles and a bulletin board.

The Courtship Connection
A catalog full of courtship and character information. Also has a message board.

True Love Waits
An international campaign designed to challenge students to remain
sexually abstinent until marriage.


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE- Finding a spouse for Christian kids
Has articles on The Biblical Perspective, Q & A, The Virtue of Waiting, To the Unmarried Young Women....and Why Not Dating?

Christian Resources
Has Christian Resources of MANY kinds, including courtship.

Christian Marriage: Preparation
The fourth in a series of articles taken from sermons preached by Dr. Allen while ministering at Free Grace Baptist Church, Belvedere in 1987.

ABC'S of Romance
Goes through the alphabet using the letters to show different important aspects of romance.

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8. A Visit With a Courted Gal
Terra Minerd

Introduction to this is an article that is to be viewed at:
http://bravewc.com/sis/articles/comeback.htm


Hi, I'm Terra Minerd and I would like to update an article that was written
about courtship that featured me. First I want to tell any teens that may be
reading this article, my parents did not raise me to believe in courtship.
They did not choose it for me nor did they even know about it till I informed
them. The decision to follow the path of courtship verses dating was totally
mine. I have had a few e-mails from teens thinking that courtship was a
parent control thing and I just wanted you to know that it is not. I have
called all the shots so to speak.

When I was 12 I decided I wanted to court instead of date before I got
married. I had no intention of getting to know a man intimately until He and
I were ready to get married. I also would not agree to have a courtship
relationship with a man who did not believe that the ultimate goal of our
courtship was marriage. I started praying when I was 13 that God would save a man for me. I wasn't sure I would be able to handle marrying a man who had memories of another woman in his heart.

In May of 1999 I went on one of my yearly trips to Southern California, my
home state. While there I stayed with my grandparents. They didn't see a
whole lot of me because I was out with my friends from my family's former
church. We had moved across the country 4 years earlier but I stayed in
contact with all of my intimate friends in the youth group. I became e-mail
friends with several of my California friends and we spoke weekly about
school, church and life. While out one night with my dad, his friends and a
good friend Jeremiah whom I have known since Jr. High; I realized that I had
feelings for Jerem (as we call him) that were a bit more than just my buddy
from church. My dad noticed that we looked at each other differently than he
had ever seen before but he didn't say anything to me. The following morning
my mom called me and asked me to hang out for a few minutes. She then asked if I had anything I needed to talk about. I asked how they knew. I told my parents that I seemed to really like Jerem but wasn't sure how to proceed in my friendship with him.

Even though Jerem and I had been friends for many years I had never talked
about courtship with him. There was never a need to because we were just
buddies from church. I knew I needed to speak to him because I was sensing
that he wanted to change our relationship to more than I believe was
appropriate for me. I talked to him that afternoon at a party my parents
gave for me and explained what I believed in concerning dating. I showed
him the original article on courtship that had appeared in our local paper.
I gave him a list of 10 points comparing dating and courtship. I asked him
to forgive me if I had led him to believe he would be able to date me. Jerem
said he understood it all and would pray about all we had talked about.
Jerem by the way has never dated. Not that girls didn't want to go out with
him because they did. He just hadn't found any that he wanted to go out
with. I think being homeschooled Jerem never felt the pressures that kids in
school have about being the most popular and always having a Saturday night
date. Well, until I grew up and he saw me in a different way.

10 days after returning home my father received a phone call from Jeremiah.
He asked my dad if he could inter into a courtship relationship with me. My
dad explained in great detail what that commitment would be by what I have
said I believe in. Jerem said he completely understood and believed it was
God's will that he be calling. I of course had been praying everyday since
realizing that my feelings had changed. I knew that if Jerem called I would
say yes. The day Jerem called was the day our regular correspondence stopped on the Internet. He and my dad were going to have a mentoring time, just the two of them. About 6 weeks after starting the mentoring time; my parents came to me and said that they believed they could not be getting a better son in law than Jerem. Remember they have also known him for 6-7 years. They both got to know him much better during the beginning of the mentoring time. During this time Jerem and I sent each other our personal daily devotions and what we learned from them over the Internet. We also prayed for each other daily over the net but all of our regular chit chat stopped so that Jerem could concentrate on the mentoring process he was in with my dad and so that we could focus on the Lord concerning this new relationship.

It is now January and I have been in this courtship relationship for 8 months
and it is progressing exactly the way I had envisioned courtship would. My
parents speak with Jerem over the Internet on a weekly basis and talk to him
on the phone. They both went back to California in August for a week and
spent all their free time with him. I write my daily devotions to him and
still prayer for him over the Internet daily. We also study together
different books of the Bible each month on the net. The best part about the
Internet is the AOL instant messenger, it gives us a way to talk to each
other several times a week without having to use the telephone. It also has
helped bring up my typing speed. Hehe We talk on the phone to each other 2-5 times a month.

For Christmas my parents sent me to California to spend time getting to know
Jerem's family better and to get to know his extended family. (grandparents
etc.) Jerem is in computer technical school so I didn't get to see him very much on my visit. His mom and I became great friends. We were both nervous about my visit because our relationship has changed. I was no longer just little Terra from church I was TERRA the woman Jerem intends to marry one day and she was not just Joan Jerem's mom she was JOAN. My mom laughed at both of us. She tried to reassure us both that nothing has changed. We both still love each other as friends but that our love will now grow and deepen because of my relationship with her son. Well mom was right. I dearly love Joan and her husband Xavier. I will be truly blessed one day to have them as my other set of parents. I spent Christmas day getting to know all of the extended family and already love them all. I took Jerem and his immediate family and introduced them all to my extended family also while I was in California.

Jerem is graduating from his school in March of 2000 and then he will be
moving to the East Coast and getting a job in computers. Before he may ask
for my hand in marriage he will have to pay off his school loans and save the
down payment for a house. I don't believe in debt and want to start off a
marriage not owing anyone. I also don't want to pay the high cost of renting
when owning is much less expensive in our area.

The end goal of our courtship is marriage. I believe Jerem was a bit shocked
the first time he heard this. I believed God prepared his heart and mine for
what was going to happen to us during the visit to my home state. Both of us
are preparing and doing our best to lean what is to be a good wife and
husband. Jerem is studying with his father. He has started doing the family
budgeting and bills. My father is in contact with him continuing the
mentoring process with Jerem. Sharing his wisdom and also his mistakes in
marriage. My dad has been completely transparent with Jerem and held nothing back. My mom has always had the mind set that her girls should be prepared for marriage as soon as we were adults. So, I know how to cook, bake, shop and plan for meals. I know how to clean and organize a house. My mom did realize though that I had never done these things completely on my own by myself. So, you can guess what I do now. Yep, I have had to plan, shop and prepare meals 2 times a week for my family and or for company.

Jerem and I both believe the Love is a commitment and not a feeling,
therefore we have saved the word love for when we make that final commitment at the altar. We have not gotten into the mushy words that most
relationships do when the people are dating. Not that we wouldn't like to
though, we are choosing not to. Our story here doesn't have an ending yet,
just as my story in the newspaper article didn't have an ending. Jeremiah and
I have a huge future ahead of us. I only pray that other young people who
have read this know that it is something we have chosen to do because we
believe God wants us to. Courtship is not for everyone but for me I can say
without a doubt that it is God's best for me. I am so glad that I stuck to my
beliefs all these years since first hearing about courtship on the radio. I
am also so very thankful to God for sending His great blessing in my
direction of a wonderful Christian man.

Sincerely,
Terra

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9. Closing Letter

Well, all, hope this blessed you. I am sending this off in a rush RIGHT NOW
as this is my wedding night!!! She did it!! MRS WAHL!!

Be at peace, catch you next month when we will be back on open topic!! Send submissions PLEASE!!


Elissa Henry
Teri Brown
Patricia Moon

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10. Subscription Information

Subscribe at : Seedling-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

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11. Reprint Information

Individual authors herein retain their own copyrights. You may
freely copy this entire newsletter or material from this newsletter
in other nonprofit publications (unless otherwise marked in the
article), but you MUST include the author's name and this entire
notice:

"Reprinted with permission of Elissa Wahl from Seedling, a
Christian Unschooling E-Zine. For a free subscription, send
any e-mail message to Seedling-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit
URL: http://www.ChristianUnschooling.org"